This is a very difficult week for prognostication – we only have three movies opening wide and one of them I don’t think I’d watch for free on cable, but it might be good for those who like that movie.
The Heartbreak Kid: I am predisposed to hate this film, as I am so very very very tired of Ben Stiller. He makes a lot of really crap movies and for some reason I’m convinced he’s an absolute jerk in real life. However, this is a Farrelly Brothers movie, and they have had great success in the gross-out comedy game. Dumb and Dumber, Kingpins, There’s Something About Mary are considered by many to be comedy classics but they’re recent output hasn’t been as good and they’ve only made two movies in the last five years. This could turn out to be great – but my gut reaction says that not only is it going to be bad, but will bomb as well. I’d be very surprised if it made over $15 Mil this weekend.
The Seeker: Until a few years ago, big kids movies were almost uniformly awful, and fantasy leaning ones were worse. Harry Potter gave legitimacy (and bigger budgets) to this type of movie. This summer Stardust was a very pleasant surprise, and of course the first of the C.S. Lewis books was a huge hit. The Seeker, based on a popular book, plans to follow in that tradition. We have magical kids and a world that needs saving and somewhat incongruously Ian McShane as the good guy. I just can’t picture McShane outside of Deadwood, where he played one of the greatest roles ever. But anyway, this could be a terrific adventure, but I have a feeling it’s going to fall flat also.
Feel The Noise: I simply cannot do any better than the press release from Columbia Pictures.
After a run-in with local thugs, aspiring Harlem rapper Rob (Omarion Grandberry) flees to a place and father (Giancarlo Esposito) he never knew, and finds his salvation in Reggaeton, a spicy blend of hip-hop, reggae and Latin beats. Puerto Rico, the spiritual home of Reggaeton, inspires Rob and his half-brother Javi (Victor Rasuk) to pursue their dream of becoming Reggaeton stars. Together with a dancer named C.C., they learn what it means to stay true to themselves and each other, while overcoming obstacles in love, greed and pride, all culminating in an explosive performance at New York’s Puerto Rican Day Parade.
Swap out a few nouns and adjectives here and there, and this describes about 20 movies, from Breakin’ to Center Stage and of course Dirty Dancing. It’s not my kind of movie, and it’s entirely possible that for what it is, it’ll be very entertaining.
Wrap-up: I’m giving Feel the Noise a pass and betting that BOTH The Seeker and Heartbreak Kid of extremely bad and make very little money.
Side-note – George Clooney’s Michael Clayton opens elsewhere and looks pretty good. Wes Anderson’s Darjeeling Limited should be making its way to Atlanta soon also.
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